Alcohol is the liquid version of Photoshop.
How much deeper would the see be without all these sponges?
Every time you make a typo, the errorists win!
20 years later. Punk is dad.
Things I’m going to stop doing in 2014:
1. Making lists.
Rhinos are just fat unicorns.
(10+9)((8)(7)+6-5-4)(3-2+1+0) = 2014
I have CDO. It’s exactly like OCD, but all the letters are in alphabetical order AS THEY SHOULD BE!
There’s life after death. It is called organ donation.
Always be nice to ugly girls. The pretty ones might be watching.
Some women have mood swings…others have mood theme parks.
I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
Tupperware is the waiting room for the trash can.
99% of all people on the internet are stupid. Proud to be part of the other 5%.
So ducked up, it quacks me up!