There’s life after death. It is called organ donation.
Always be nice to ugly girls. The pretty ones might be watching.
Some women have mood swings…others have mood theme parks.
I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
Tupperware is the waiting room for the trash can.
99% of all people on the internet are stupid. Proud to be part of the other 5%.
So ducked up, it quacks me up!
If Mondays were shoes, they’d be croqs.
If procrastination was an Olympic sport, I’d compete in it later.
Our cows are vegan. So you don’t have to be…
There are about 25 million extroverts for each introvert. Or at least it seems like it.
Vegetarian" is an old Indian word for "bad hunter".
10 reasons why I’m lazy:
I don’t have insomnia. I have the internet.